I want friends.

I want friends. Do you know what I mean? Real friends. I want friends who want us as friends. People my wife and I can be ourselves with. The type of people who are deeper than you think, who challenge you to grow and encourage you through it. The type of people whose friendship is about friendship.

I want to be a friend who loves the interaction with others, willing to sacrifice some TV time in order to spend some face time. I want my wife and I to enjoy the same people, to laugh in the company of others and to grow together because of our community. Roxann and I are great friends. The past couple of years, especially, have been incredible for our marriage. We are open, supportive, and each others biggest cheerleaders.

Roxann is smart AND beautiful, and really makes my life more than it could be without her. However, as much as we love each other’s company, we are better with others. Our continued growth as followers of Christ and as people on this planet depends on the solid friendships we forge.

So… I want a community of friends, a tribe, where I don’t have to be a mentor… where I don’t have to be guarded all the time. Where who I am becoming is as important as who I am. We have had great friends in the past: Tracey & Tom Conner, Heather Williams, John Ratz & fam, Sweeney’s (all of them), Stoeckles. We also have great friends now: the Lewies, Vaughns, Phoenixs. Kudos to them for liking us back.

So, where do I go to find community, that tribal experience? I go in search of it.

Drinking and driving.

Drinking and driving. It’s illegal. Evidently it’s been illegal for a long time. I remember reading something about it in a driver’s training book when I was much younger. I also remember being perplexed that my dad could drive up to McDonald’s, order a Big Mac with a soda and drive away. Wasn’t that also illegal? How could McDonald’s get away with selling drinks to drivers when the state of Texas said it was against the law? It took me a while to understand that ‘drinking’ referred to alcohol. The only drinking I knew was soda. My frame of reference didn’t include alcohol.

It’s good to understand that sometimes our frame of reference isn’t broad enough or deep enough to include everything. In my journey of faith, there are things I don’t understand… yet. That’s okay. I love the changes God has made in me as I experience hardship, grace, maturity and peace. My frame of reference is changing and with it, the depth of my understanding of who Jesus is and who I am in Him.

It’s funny how the mind works. All I wanted to do was drive home while drinking my Dr. Pepper. Instead, God reminds me of a funny episode in the life of Brian, then makes it matter for today.

Happiness and job satisfaction

Coming from a Christian standpoint, I used to view happiness or job satisfaction as a result of my relationship with Christ. The closer I was to Him, the more happy or satisfied I was in life. I thought that happiness/satisfaction was a direct result of who I was in Christ. This viewpoint was insufficient. It lacked a mature understanding of life. The result was disillusionment or disappointment with God when my faith was strong but ‘bad’ things happened to me or my family. Over the years I have learned that life is tough (sometimes extremely tough) and my relationship in Christ doesn’t negate those experiences. They become opportunities for growth. I may not always like them. They may not be a reflection of my journey of faith. But I do mature in life and faith through them.

I have also come to understand that success at work is in a constant state of flux. My job satisfaction is grounded in who I am in Christ. It is about character, honor, integrity, etc. Difficult circumstances may invade my personal space but they are seen as opportunities for growth.